When we focus inward on the self we begin to realise that there is only wholeness and no-one is seperate from us or no thing is out of our realm of attainment.
What is needed for this discovery of self, is a desire and curiosity to change the current lived experience, to live life in a deeper, richer way with less suffering.
When I began thinking and feeling into the greatest possibilities of what I wanted my life to be both personally and professionally I was crippled by an internal wall of resistance.
The resistance was from the inner critic, centred on voicing my ideas and thoughts in public.
The inner critic was responding to a fear of judgement, the judgement of others because ' who was I to be saying the things I was saying' - the imposter syndrome - was alive fuelled by an internalised deep seated belief that I was not good enough and reinforced by a fear of rejection.
The start of the pandemic was a huge boost in working deeper into where these limitations were sitting within myself, I was given time alone and access to the internet. At this point I had been meditating and doing self development work for 14years, which had bought great awareness and softening of the armouring I had developed which was tainting the worldview I had of what was possible and how experiences should go.
I knew it wasn't just from my mind I needed to work, I needed an embodied experience where I was getting in touch with the parts of my body that were holding onto the experiences. That's when I found Dr Sue Morter and The Energy Codes.
By focusing my attention inwards to the very core of my being, melding my breath and mental focus together as I travelled through my body, I was able to identify gaps in the relationship between my mind and body.
As I would travel through the lower part of my abdomen my mind would skip over the area between my belly button and tip of the tailbone, which was also where I would experience tension, compression and mental stuckness in any conflict or experience where I felt tethered or when the thought of offering my services online was thought about.
Focusing on this area and moving my mind and breath through it like a scientist, going layer by layer, carefully building a relationship back to this area of my body, there was a decreasing in the density, emotions and memories would spontaneously release that I could observe and not create stories about and over a short time there was a physical freedom in my lower back and pelvic area.
As the energy in the lower abdomen started to flow again, I became aware of less resistance to offering clients to join in online yoga classes, I wasn't physically and mentally anticipating a rejection after sending the email out and I became braver in what I was offering clients online.
The physical changes in my body by releasing the internal coiling of energy were very noticeable - my periods changed, low back pain that would come and go, disappeared, the lower belly 'fat' disappeared, my digestion improved and mentally I was able to let the feelings of resistance flow through me, when an idea would come to mind that would be out of my comfort zone.
This and many more 'breakthroughs' in my physical world have occurred by always coming back onto myself, feeling the energy of my body not from the story of my mind, because my mind was a layer cake of past present and future all rolled into one, getting very noisy and challenging to know which way was up!